We create our own destiny by making choices that bring us to physical places, life opportunities and spiritual challenges.
I brought myself to India for the International Yoga Festival of 2017.
I booked my flight and my stay in fall 2016, oblivious to what my workload would be the following March. I honestly didn’t care much; what I cared about was the call India was making and my need to follow it.
I booked in a semi-rush, knowing that, if my rational mind had kicked in, I would have lost again another opportunity.
February 2017 came quickly and with that all the stress and pressure of working in the corporate world.
I spent the last year working on meditation, mindfulness, focus, calm posture, and non-reactivity: all to be applied to my work environment…hopefully with some success.
When the planned trip approached, I was leaving my job at the busiest time…and at the worst time.
I was feeling the pressure of leaving a committed team, deadlines, and an endless to-do list.
My mind was creating its own stress and pressure.
We are all entangled in this endless marathons we call life. It can be work, family or whatever we create to make our lives busy because being busy makes us feel productive …valuable.
We think we are our job, its outcome and what people believe we should be.
So, packing my yoga clothes and mat, looking forward to a week of unwinding, yoga and healthy food, I left with no expectations, no particular outcome.
With all my thoughts and baggage related to work, I made it to Rishikesh. I was willing to fit in as many classes as possible and as many meditation sessions my schedule allowed.
My friend and I were staying at the outskirt of Rishikesh in a beautiful hotel overlooking the Ganga River.
That meant to make it to the Ashram on time for a 6.30am class we had to hope for a taxi at 6am.
Our first day we were not so lucky.
We woke up with rain (wait: there was no rain on the weather forecast!!!).
The closest means of transportation found was a guy on a scooter. Anybody in their right mind would have known that 3 people on a scooter when it rains is not a smart thing to do….but oh well, this is India after all. So we jumped in.
Fast forward, I wound up at the emergency room, with a deep cut on my left leg, a dark bruise up to my knee and lots of fear of possible infections. Needless to say we missed our 6.30am meditation class…
At first I could not believe the choice my friend and I made and the dramatic results; then I stepped back and started reflecting.
Still in shock and disappointment, it took time to address what the real issue was.
Strangely enough, the only thing I could relate to, in that moment, was a sense of deep thankfulness for what had just happened.
It was as if the universe had been checking on me since leaving NY and bugging me: “Can’t you just let it go?”
Someone or something was trying to talk to me, but my ears were soundproof. My physical body was in Rishikesh, yet my mind was still on the other side of the ocean, in NYC where I had left my busy life.
No ear for listening…No surprise I got slapped on my face: an emotionally painful slap that brought me to tears. “What? Why?”
The wound was dangerous enough to make me shake and fear for my security, but not enough to prevent me from staying and taking classes. For that I was grateful.
Being a type “A” personality, one that never asks for help, nor believes there is need to, I finally had to surrender. I felt powerless, shocked, and fearful.
My heart, so tight and stiff was finally melting …I could feel my chest opening, tears falling over my face.
I was not crying for fear, or for pain. I was crying for gratefulness, and joy: for all the help, love and support I was receiving.
Never before was I thankful for what had happened, like I was now.
I felt a higher source was watching over me, talking to me, kicking me hard but holding me before I fell.
There were no boundaries, I was back to being a child, vulnerable, speechless, full of joy and gratefulness. The healing process was starting and the accident unraveled higher possibilities.
I didn’t know what to call this source, Energy, God or Universe. The feeling was of deep love.
We do create our destiny. We know what is good for us, we just don’t always see it.
Why don’t we listen to THE voice? Why don’t we tap into our inner self more often to avoid the drastic from happening?
We don’t need accidents to open our eyes, to connect within, to feel our feelings at their fullest. We don’t need to travel as far as India to reach our deepest emotions, to live the NOW. They are HERE, constantly and they are our best teachers.
My stay in Rishikesh was a deep experience of love, self-awareness and commitment to the higher self. My heart was opened to hearing and finally receiving.
There is no reason to talk unless we are ready to listen, detached from our ego, and to lift our souls.
On day three, after a 2 hour satsang lead by Mooji, I stood up, walked the crowded street and felt something very simple but unusual. It was pure joy; I stood light and happy; I felt there was no other place in that moment to be.
My heart was open, my chest bright. I was like a dancer or a singer after their best performance.
That serenity, sense of peace and fulfillment is what I brought back with me from Rishikesh.
Every day during my morning meditation, I tap into that feeling, and it is never gone.
My purpose today is to voice it.