And so I smoked Marijuana.
My father and I both share a level of anxiety that seems ancestral in its origin. We express different iterations of it but that was easy to identify. It was part of why I gave myself a pass on smoking and perhaps why my father made his peace with drinking. We didn’t want to sit with that unease.
I’ve written about my Nannie. On a fourth grade education she learned to read the holy books and lead the prayers for her community. She moved a family of ten to Canada from Guyana when the British empire left. She also talked her way into the banking system for a ten thousand dollar loan, so that she could purchase a home for each of her children as a dowry. She was extraordinary.
As sons do, I watched my Father push back against his Mother. Despite being raised a Hindu, he did not practice. Growing up in South America, my Dad wanted the American dream and so he chose to sacrifice his connection to spirit for the sake of dollars. That just never seemed to be a worthwhile trade to me, so I focused on my connection to Spirit. For a time, Marijuana helped with that.
When we were older, my Dad asked me, based on my practices, if I had joined a cult. The only reply I could offer was this was the gift his Mother gave me.
But I’d been missing half her story. For years Nannie was just a link to Spirit for me. It is only recently that I am recognizing the gift she had with business and numbers. Putting aside my self limitations, I looked inside at the parts of me that were nervous to get involved in business.
A syllogism arrives at a conclusion, assuming propositions to be true. I had thought that to create financial abundance for myself I would have to sacrifice connection to spirit. So I began to observe where I was playing far below my capacity. Where was my perfectionism or anxiety overruling my getting involved and participating? Where was Spirit directing my hand?
When I began to cycle out of using Prime My Body’s Hemp Oil CBD, I wasn’t anticipating much would happen. A week later, I began to notice a hesitancy in my decision making. When I sat with it, I noted that the period I had been using the Oil had been free of indecision and feckless behavior. I seemed to know my mind without the hesitation and contemplation that I had grown accustomed to.
For so may years I had been turning to Marijuana, so I had limited acquaintance with my authentic emotional state. Perfectionism has been a stain on my mind that’s prevented me from doing many of the things that I longed to do. Often, I’ve preferred to trust others opinions on my actions, finding it easier to trust their vision of how I best live my life. It’s kinda narcissistic but my established anxiety kept me small. Free from it, I was able to recognize that before me I always had two right choices.
I am not a doctor, I am just a geek who went deep down the rabbit hole of the internet. I did no double blind tests and all I have is conjecture. But that week of down cycling, I watched an anxiety return that I had never been aware of. And I discovered less interest in maintaining it.
Meditation had given me peeks behind the curtain, and at nine months, this is my longest undisturbed stretch of sobriety. I say that understanding that I am ingesting something foreign. Combined with meditation, I am titrating my experience of anxiety. I am more aware of my emotional state than I have ever been. I am grateful for that awareness.
This is why I consider myself a Brand Ambassador for Prime My Body’s Hemp Oil. In the liquor industry, we had people show up to taste the product they wanted us to pour. I don’t see it too differently, It’s just that this time I believe that I’m helping people when I show up and educate them about the benefits of CBD. Without the altered consciousness of THC, the wisdom of the plant remains intact.
With the world moving more everyday towards automation, the next decade will see the rise of the driverless car and the close of more brick and mortar shops. In your timeline, you witness the condensation and consolidation of many industries.
In your lifetime, the greatest industry growth will occur in Hemp. A return to the currency of our ancestors, currently Forbes is forecasting that by 2020, the Hemp industry will grow by 700% to 3 Billion dollars. Add a decade on to that and the potential nears 400 Billion Dollars a year.
As more and more people order online, direct to home, becoming a Brand Ambassador for Prime My Body’s Affiliate Marketing program, makes a fair bit of sense. In the past 20 years that industry’s grown from 120 to 190 Billion annually. Projections over the next thirteen years estimate that as more people connect with their communities, it’s potentially a Trillion dollar a year industry. Personally, I would rather you share in that than see people purchase it from Walmart, where it’s sold in stores.
Sitting here, I can’t tell you that these things are perfect. I don’t know that too many things are. But I know that I am encouraged by the growth that I’ve witnessed in my world around me of late. I want that for you too. Recognizing the work it took to get to this place, know that for help, all you have to do is ask.